a retired sex worker of 5 years who has navigated a number of chronic illnesses in her life including vulvodynia, pelvic pain, and histamine intolerance. 3 years ago I was experiencing excruciating pain symptoms that would leave me bedridden for days after working a shift at the strip club. I couldn’t get through the days without using cannabis as pain management, and my mental health was at rock bottom. PTSD symptoms from sexual assaults at work, including moments where I allowed behavior that made me uncomfortable for the sake of making a bag, were blocking me from intimacy with myself and my partner. I would spend hours crying in bed or on the floor, having panic attacks, and begging god to let me die, trying to escape my body.
Hey Hotties! I’m Bree,
My life revolved around appointments with Pelvic PT’s, vulvo vaginal specialists, and therapists (DBT, EMDR, traditional). They all told me I’d have to live with painful sex and vulvodynia symptoms – like incontinence, muscle spasms, and acidic burning at the entrance of my vagina – for the rest of my life. Desperate, I tried every pain management tool they gave me, and even let them put a 3” needle in my pussy and inject her with lidocaine. Nothing changed. The pain quickly got worse, as I found myself in a narcissistic abusive relationship with a man who made me feel guilty for not providing him with the same sexual energy I was giving to my clients. At that point, I felt that all I had left was my ability to consistently make a rack at work. So I pushed myself harder, putting up with more bullshit from the men at the club in order to meet my sales goals. If I was going to have to live with painful sex in a society that only values women for their ability to have sex, I might as well be rich as fuck.
During my last shift at the club I was in so much pelvic pain I couldn’t stay until the end. My body was screaming at me, begging me to stop abandoning her. I had no choice but to listen. I decided I would heal myself and prove all of the “medical professionals” wrong. I went to my last physical therapy appointment in December 2023 and never looked back. I devoted myself to finding a holistic way to resolve the pain symptoms and become the woman I always desired: confident, seeping in embodied sexual energy, never afraid to say “no” or tell someone to fuck off if they were being harmful, and abundant as hell. I found mentors who supported my metamorphosis as I shed the “good girl” programming I was indoctrinated into as a child—reinforced by the patriarchal structures of the sex industry. I resolved pain symptoms that western doctors had no explanations or solutions for. I prioritized myself above all, and I transformed into a bad bitch – no longer just cosplaying one.
It is my soul’s purpose to deliver the same transformation to you. Having left the spicy industry with no support from anyone who had been in my shoes, I knew I wanted to hold space for the workers like me, who were either still in sex work but craving ways to do it sustainably, or ready to exit and create the next version of their lives. I see you, puta, and I am here to hold you through those transitions and provide practical advice for finding your soul aligned gifts.